Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style

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Attachment theory describes the different ways people can act in relationships when someone has an avoidant attachment style. They're uncomfortable with growing emotionally bonded or close to someone else. It can actually be broken down into two sub categories :

  • Dismissive Avoidant 
  • Fearful Avoidant 

This kind of attachment theory usually carries on through adulthood and can affect relationships of all types. wondering if avoidant attachment applies to you or a loved one? 

Here are eight signs of an avoidant attachment style.


You were Emotionally Neglected in your Childhood

Do you feel more comfortable about controlling your own strong emotions? , Childhood neglect can be painful and sometimes turns into a form of resisting attachment. Some parents may prevent their child from expressing both positive and negative emotions outwardly according to Healthline. When they were emotionally insecure these parents may have neglected their child's needs. This is the symbol of resisting commitment because children have the requirements not only to care for themselves, but also to conceal their feelings and weaknesses from others.

You tend to Suppress Your Emotions

Have you been taught how to treat emotional gestures as weakness? Do you think that you're doing it differently internally? Do you prefer to bottle up your feelings, and blame yourself internally for being vulnerable? People with avoiding attachment are uncomfortable exposing their weaknesses, and may look down on people who are more sensitive to emotion than themselves.

You have Trouble Dealing with Emotional Intimacy

Do you have emotional communication problems in relationships? Can you sustain conversations at a relaxed surface level or take longer stretches of time? You shy away from emotional closeness when you have an avoidant attachment style, fearing to disclose so much about yourself that you are dealing with not having to use anyone for anything? This emotional distance can make other people frustrated, angry in relationships, and they can even take it personally, but the reality is, for you it is simply a defensive mechanism.

You have Extreme Boundaries 

Do you really have clear boundaries which are strong and strict? This can go as far as minimizing how much time you spend with others or refusing to talk with others about certain aspects of your life. We want to highlight that boundaries are absolutely nothing wrong. Strong boundaries are important to maintain healthy relationships. But people with rigid boundaries can seem remote or closed off.

You have Shallow Relationships

If it's romantic or platonic, you want to keep relationships superficial. You may refuse to meet your partner's family in a romantic relationship, or avoid topics and circumstances that might make the relationship more intense. You may refuse to go into emotional detail about yourself in a platonic relationship, or have lengthy conversations or see others very much.

Signs That You're With The Wrong Friend.

Strong Independence 

Are you highly self-focused and independent?   Do you look silently down on people who depend on others? Determination is not a bad thing by itself, when children grow up they should be more and more comfortable with making decisions on their own. However, when children are forced to become self-sufficient too early due to neglect, they can develop a strong desire to solve problems on their own instead of developing a healthy level of self-sufficiency.

You have Trust Issues 

Have you got the care and attention you deserved as a child? If it isn't normal in your life you would have trouble trusting others, even in adulthood, you'll fail to trust even those who are closest to you and want to distance yourself from having or accepting love from others.

You're critical on Yourself and Others

You may also find flaws with people around you when you have the avoidant attachment style and this is more associated with a negative, avoidant attachment style.

According to Joyce Catlett MA from Psych Alive,

The trauma that most commonly associated with this attachment style empowers the minds in her critical voice so much that it actually overshadows their inner positive voice as a result it's easier for you to identify faults within yourself and others compared to the positive qualities.


We hope you enjoyed learning about the signs of avoidant attachment style. Did you recognize any of these signs in yourself or any of your loved ones? If you found this post helpful be sure to it with those you think might benefit from it.

Related: Signs That Someone is Secretly Depressed

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