Why Making Friends Is Hard These Days?

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When we were, friendships weren't that much difficult to maintain. Many of us met friends regularly at school in extracurriculars and at home while growing up, but as we grew up our lives sent us off on different paths. Whether you're balancing and maintaining old friendships or establishing new ones, every single person runs into challenges at some point in life. But not to fear! We have brought the chance for you to learn the reasons why making friends is really hard these days.

You are still Haunted by the Friendships of Past

Have you ever been cheated on by a friend or got betrayed in the past? Do you find it hard to trust others since then? No one expects you to jump back into dating immediately after a breakup and the same can be said for friendships. It is not fair to ask yourself to forgive and forget every liar, backstabber and fake friend. We have all encountered them and it's okay to be wary, but we all have to take responsibility not to let your past affect your new friendships.

Signs of an Avoidant Attachment Style

You’re too Tired or Exhausted

Are you an introvert who recharges by spending time away from others? if so maintaining friendships can become tiring if you're also managing other responsibilities. constant socializing can be draining and when you're regularly not at your best it can affect those around you as well. It's okay to take some time for yourself or let your friends know when you need some space. if they're truly your friend they'll understand.

You make Situational Bonds according to the Circumstances

As our schedules fill up, adults tend to spend more and more time with people who share an interesting profession or relationship such as co-workers or pet owners. 

Denise Cummins PhD explains you may find yourself socializing with the parents of your children's friends. The source of connections you have with them is your children. The fact is that you have children of the same age and as soon as they graduate from schools you start losing connections with their parents. While commonalities may bring friends together it can also be the reason friendships fade as life circumstances change. 

Technology can become a Great Cause of Distance 

Even though social networking is designed to bring people together not everyone is a technological expert. It is easy to misunderstand one another when you have a screen between you. Social media is infamous for promoting comparison and competition among friends and even strangers. This facade on social media can make it hard for you to find a genuine connection with someone who can support you and stand with you through every thick & thin.

Remember this When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

You Haven’t Prioritized making Friends from the Past 

What are your main priorities these days? Sometimes you just don't see that friendship hasn't been on your radar, perhaps stressful exams or a job promotion have been occupying your thoughts in time or maybe you've just been focusing on yourself.

In the New York Times psychotherapist Robert Glover, explains how he realized that his roster friends had quietly atrophied for years as he focused on career and family. After facing divorce at the age of 56 he found himself longing for friends to spend time with and turn to for support. 

"I would go to salsa lessons and instead of trying to pick up the women, I'd introduce myself to the men. Hey let's go get a drink!" Says Robert!

You have Too Many Commitments Don’t Have Enough Time 

Do you have too many responsibilities and commitments to attend to right now? Adulthood leaves little time for friendships. Taking care of yourself is an investment of time and attention that is essential to your health as well as your success in life. With a job or a family on the list of responsibilities you may not have a lot of time or energy to spend on cultivating friendships especially new ones.

Do you relate to any of the reasons mentioned in this post? If so, what do you plan to do next to improve your situation? Let us know in the comments below.

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